Disturbing Female Fashion Trends From the Minds of G & C

OK, so today I was having one of my sporadic and very ADD conversations with a friend of mine who lives in Germany. For the time being, I will name him "G" (mostly because I'm pretty sure he has no idea he's being featured in my blog, and because I don't want to embarrass him). G has been a friend of mine since middle school and has seen me through my awkward years and now into my slightly-less-awkward-because-I-actually-know-sort-of-what-I'm-doing years. He has become indispensable when it comes to advice about boys, clothes, careers, etc; all of this made one-hundred percent inconvenient due to the fact that we live an ocean (literally) apart (it is also regrettable that his girlfriend looks like Miranda Kerr with blond hair...kill me).Today we started talking about different fashion trends that irritate both of us; his perspective being one of what he finds attractive on girls and mine being what I find truly horrifying on girls. G himself, is a very, VERY fashionable man (I think this comes from being European) and has always had a good eye when it comes to trends in both the male and female spectrum (he is the boy that asked me for advice in which belt to choose and when I picked this beautiful Hermès Idem belt, he 100% agreed). Take that, American boys. Anyway, while we were talking about fashion trends or fashion "do nots" we found that we agreed on a few of them. Here they are and what I propose as suitable alternatives (hopefully).

Disturbing Fashion Trend #1: UGGs

As comfortable as they are...please keep these boots for around the house.
And DO NOT wear them with anything other than pants.

Disturbing Fashion Trend #2: Too-High Heels

Believe me, I know how beautiful high heels are.
And the higher they get, the more I like them.
BUT LADIES, if you cannot walk in heels without stumbling or having the spike of your stiletto wobble every time you take a step, DO NOT WEAR THEM.
It makes you look 1) uncoordinated and 2) bad. Just plain bad.
I will be the girl making fun of you for not knowing how to walk in heels.
I'm sorry, but it is 100% true.

Disturbing Fashion Trend #3: Ill-Fitting Pants

I feel like this is self-explanatory. If your pants give you a muffin top, love handles and a camel toe...they are too tight.
If you are unsure, ask a friend who will tell the truth...or get a bigger size.
I understand that we are ALL hoping that size "0" will fit, but if it doesn't don't be ashamed.
I would much rather wear a 2 than have a muffin top trying to squeeze into a 0.

Disturbing Fashion Trend #4: Bras That Cause Back-Fat

This disturbing fashion trend follows up on this post. Pay attention to #9.

A good bra is an investment every woman should make.
It should lift and separate, while still being loose enough not to cause unattractive "back fat."
Even the skinniest girls get back fat if their bras are ill-fitted.
You can always ask a sales associate at Victoria's Secret or wherever else you shop for undies to help fit you properly!

Disturbing Fashion Trend #5: Sunglasses That Are Too Big

Sunglasses that are too big for your face can make you look downright silly.
I know how cool they look on some people (because they definitely do..Kim Kardashian-like) but oversize sunglasses aren't right for everyone.
Aviators are a style that flatter most facial shapes and are very "in" right now. Just make sure they don't sit too far off your face and that they cover your eyebrows.
When shopping for sunglasses, just be sure that you buy a style that is face-flattering (not overwhelming) and that you feel comfortable in.
Not everyone needs to look like Jackie O!